Anything Goes
by saffiremoon21
Summary: Well, almost anything. Adventures in total randomness...Ch.4 up!
1. Prologue

Okay, okay, so this is going to be really weird. Just so you know. But it's just an idea I had that I thought would be fun. Here's how it works. I'm going to let _you _guys write the story. You can suggest any ideas that you've ever wanted to see in a FMA fanfic and I'll try my best to work them all in.

Now the rules.  
1. No yaoi, please. I have nothing against yaoi, but I would prefer if it doesn't show up in this fanfic.  
2. The starting characters are: Ed, Al, Hawkeye, Mustang,Hughes, and the rest of the FMA regulars. New/other characters will be added as needed.  
3. Don't kill any of the main (the ones I have listed) characters off. Minor characters are okay, though.  
4. If you want to show up, that's fine. Just let me know if you're male or female.  
5. Crossovers are good, too, just keep in mind that I might not be able to incorporate it if I'm not familiar with whatever it is.  
6. Weirdness is good. This isn't going to be serious.

For those of you who want to suggest your ideas (PLEASE!) you can email me or submit your ideas through a review.

Oh, and if you visited this fanfic when I had this (the Prologue) down, I apologize. I accidentally clicked something I shouldn't have. And I also apologize for any OOCness that shows up. This is my first fanfic, and I'm still trying to figure it all out.

I don't own FullMetal Alchemist. Yet. Ask me in a month or so.


	2. The Story Begins

Whoo! Thanks so much to my first two reviewers, Harada Risa, and Shale 101! I'll try my best to incorporate everything, but, you know, this might take a while!

Disclaimer: I don't own FullMetal Alchemist. And to everyone else who had Ed turn into a girl, I don't own that idea, either.

It's an ordinary day at the office. Or so everyone thinks. Someone is hiding in the cleaning supplies closet with a flashlight, drawing what looks suspiciously like a transmutation circle. Shale frowns at the chalk circle on the floor.

"I think that's about right. Now if I can just add this-"

She's interrupted when the door opens. Ed is standing there, looking stunned.

"Ummm…why are you hiding in the closet?" He takes a step forward, cautiously. Unfortunately, he doesn't realize that he's stepped right into the transmutation circle.

"No! Don't-" There is a bright flash of light and Ed momentarily disappears. When he shows up again, it's not immediately obvious that something is wrong. It's not until he falls face-forward that he realizes that he has a problem. A major problem, to be exact. He's turned into…a girl.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" It's even worse when he realizes that he also _screams _like a girl. After that scream, about half the office is gathered around the closet, wondering what's just happened. The other half is hiding and hoping that whatever it is, it isn't coming after them.

"Brother, are you okay? What's going on?" A walking suit of armor comes in, with a worried expression on it's face (How does Al show expressions, anyway? He's metal, right?).

"Al! I've been turned into a GIRL! It's the end of the world!"

"It turns you into a girl? But…I was trying to summon something. It shouldn't have…" Shale goes back to staring at the transmutation circle, ignoring the crowd staring at her. Ed continues to scream hysterically while Al is trying to calm him down.

"There's no need to scream so much, you know." Hawkeye remarks, sighing. "Being a girl isn't that terrible."

"Yes it is! My life is ruined! RUINED!"

"Well, you'll just have to get used to it, you know. Until we can find someone to change you back." Hawkeye is a little irritated. She'd wanted a quiet day, for once….at least the Colonel wasn't here to make things worse. Speaking of the Colonel, though, where was he? It wasn't like him to leave without saying anything…

Hmmm…This one is short. But the next one might be longer. It kind of depends if I have enough time. I'll try to update this once a week, but it might take a little longer than that. Thanks again to my reviewers. Shale 101, I hoped you liked your part! Don't worry, you'll get more to do in the next chapter. And as to what you were trying to summon…I haven't the faintest idea yet.


	3. Shampoo Attacks!

Thanks once again to my reviewers! Just so you know, this is going to be really strange, and not even I know where this is going. In Ch. 1, in case if you didn't notice, something's happened to Colonel Mustang! Will he be all right? (Even though I said you guys would be writing this, I had to put that in. It was way too tempting.) So what's with him, anyway? Oh, and to Megami, did you mean Kagome? I'm not exactly sure what you mean. Sorry, but I'll try to put that in the next chapter. Umm…to everyone who's submitting ideas (I love you all!) please try to make them as clear as possible so I can figure out what you want. Okay, okay, enough blabbering! Here's the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own FullMetal Alchemist or the ideas in this story. I don't even own this computer (sob, sob).

Most of the people in the office were standing around the supplies closet. This may have seemed rather odd to passers-by, but it wasn't when you considered what had just happened. The FullMetal Alchemist had been turned into a _girl._ Faced with this tragic news, he was proceeding to scream his head off like a baby. The others, including his brother, Alphonse, a walking suit of armor, were trying to figure out just exactly what to do. Shale, the one responsible for Ed's new…ah…_form_ was still fiddling with the transmutation circle that had turned Ed into a girl. Ed was still screaming when a girl dressed in traditional Chinese clothes dropped down on top of Al.

"Ahh! What's going on?" Al reached up and tried to pick up the girl. She jumped off and smiled.

"Me Shampoo! Shampoo going to defeat strongest in this land! You," she pointed to Al. "look strong. So Shampoo fight you!" She dropped into a fighting pose, facing Al.

"What? But I…I don't want to fight you! I don't even know you!" By now, the rest of the crowd had backed off, unwilling to get involved in the fight. Shampoo charged at Al, who sidestepped out of her way. Ed, upset that he (well, actually, he's a she) was no longer the center of attention, began screaming even louder, something which really should not have been possible. Shampoo, annoyed, turned to look at him.

"Short one not bother Shampoo! Better stay out of Shampoo's way or short one get hurt!"

"Who are you calling so short that the ants step on him?"

Shampoo looked at Ed. "But you a girl." Which, of course, started Ed screaming again. Shampoo pulled out a long staff and proceeded to try and hit Ed to shut him up. She was raising the staff when Al picked her up.

"DON'T HURT MY BROTHER!" Shampoo wriggled out of his grip and said,

"You stronger than Shampoo. Shampoo leave know, but come back later." She then disappeared in a puff of smoke (how come when people mysteriously disappear, they usually do so in a puff of smoke?). Ed, who hadn't noticed Shampoo trying to kill him or her departure, was still screaming.

"We've really got to do something about that screaming, you know," Hughes said. "A lot of people are hiding under their desks right now. They think that it's a chimera or something coming to kill them."

Shale looked up. "I'm really sorry for turning him into a girl. I wasn't trying to or anything."

In the end, they took Shale in for some questioning, while Ed was gagged and locked in the break room with Al. Which restored peace. For now, at least.

There it is! Ch. 2 of Anything Goes is complete! I hope you guys like it! Don't forget to keep sending in your ideas! I'll try to update as soon as I can! Oh, and to any Gundam Seed fans out there, does Cpt. Murrue's former boyfriend (the Mobile Armor pilot, I think) have a name? I'd like to write a fanfic about that, but I haven't seen, like, the first thirty shows or something, so I would appreciate any help you could give me on all aspects of Gundam Seed. Thanks to my reviewers, Megami, Harada Risa, and Shale 101, who, as I hoped you noticed, has a part in this fanfics. Thanks also go to my reviewers for So Cold, my first posted Royai piece, az4ever and RW Grimm! Everyone's so nice to me! Thank you all so much!

If you read So Cold and liked it, I'll probably be posting some more Royai soon. I'm working on my response for the 100 themes challenge, and I've got some other random drabbles written. They're not very good, though. I'll try to post and update everything soon!


	4. It's the Fangirls! Hide!

It seems that every time I update or write something I always thank, like ten million people. Mind you, I'm not complaining or anything. I love my reviewers! So thanks to Stephanie for the idea for this chapter. Thanks to Harada Risa for reviewing every time I update, and to Fantasy Freak (don't worry, I don't like RoyEd either), Megami, and Shale 101. And just for simplicity, Ed will be referred to as a 'he'.

I don't own FullMetal Alchemist. I do have a really cool Mustang wallpaper on my computer, though…

Roy had woken up in a brightly lit room decorated with…pink hearts. It took him a while to realize that he'd been kidnapped by a bunch of teenage girls.

"Oh god..now what?"

He got his answer a little more soon than he would have liked. A gaggle of girls had burst into the room and were now proceeding to gush all over him. _I've entered the treacherous realm of the fangirls! _He thought gloomily. _And they took my gloves, too._

Roy was stuck in the realm of the fangirls for about a week when he heard a very loud explosion outside his room (which was locked so he couldn't escape.) The explosion was Ed, who, in case you've forgotten, had been turned into a girl. He wasn't screaming every minute about it now, but he was in a rather foul temper. Or more foul than it usually was anyway. Ed had gotten in pretty far now, and had managed to reach Roy's room and blow open the door.

"Come on, get your lazy butt out of here!" He threw Roy his gloves, which he had picked off of one of the fangirls. He was about to turn around when he himself got swamped by fangirls.

"He's so CUTE!" and "Can I hug him?" and "NO! He's mine!" was heard throughout the den of fangirls. (The fangirls don't know that he's a girl. Ed's tried to make it so it's not obvious.) Roy, who was against burning girls, blew a hole out of the wall and was about to escape when a tall Chinese guy stepped in front of him.

"Uhh…" Roy stared.

"Don't worry, I'm here to save you!" he announced proudly.

"Who ARE you?"

"I'm Conditioner, Shampoo's brother. Since she still wants to fight Al, she has commanded me to protect him and all those near him, including his sister."

"Sister?" asked Roy, who was _not _getting this. Remember, he didn't know that Ed got turned into a girl.

This time, Conditioner didn't bother to answer, he just shoved him out of the way and began to take out the fangirls. However, he attracted his own share of fangirls, how jumped on him. Things were looking bad, but then there were multiple gunshots. Hawkeye had arrived, along with her multitude of pistols. She managed to clear out the fangirls and rescue the two alchemists. Conditioner, however, had disappeared by the time they thought to look for him.

Yay! Another chapter done! Thanks to everyone for sending in their ideas! Yes, I am a Roy fangirl. He's so awesome…okay, I'll shut up before I start going crazy.


	5. The Amazing Powers of a Giant Marshmallo...

The next chapter of Anything Goes is here! Beware of weirdness, OOCness, and any randomness that just happens to show up in here. One of my friends wants to show up with Trowa from Gundam Wing (her name will be Lex) but I have no idea of how to write her in, so once again, I'm asking you guys for help.

Shale101: I'm glad you liked your part XD. It's kind of weird writing for someone I don't really know.

Stephanie: Sorry, but I just can't turn Roy into a girl. I tried to think about it, but whenever I do, I immediately start cracking up at the thought. I'll try to do it later. Thanks for all your ideas.

Shale wasn't really that unhappy about being held prisoner. The cell in which they'd put her wasn't all that small, and it had a large window. The food was actually rather good ( A/N: better than my school's food!) and she had most everything that she needed. The guards were polite, if rather unsure what to do with a teenaged girl who had just turned the FullMetal Alchemist into a girl. Since no one knew exactly what to do with her, someone had decided to put her in a cell until she somehow figured out how to turn Ed back into a guy. This wasn't likely to happen very soon, but someone had supplied her with quite a bit of chalk and a book on transmutation circles.

Ed had gotten more or less used to the idea that he was a girl for the time being, but he did have to make sure to stay clear of the Colonel. The Flame Alchemist thought that it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen and, in short, it was dangerous for everyone within a five-mile radius for the two of them to talk to each other for more two seconds. Al was trying, once again, to cheer him up, without much of a result, when Shampoo and her brother Conditioner came back, this time with a giant marshmallow almost as big as Al. Ed was staring at them wondering just exactly what you could do with such a huge marshmallow, when Shampoo threw it at Al.

"Now you no longer metal! Be weaker so Shampoo can beat you!" she squealed.

And she was right. Somehow the marshmallow had turned Al back into a human.

The whole headquarters was in an uproar, and all the alchemists in the area were now examining the marsmallow and trying to figure out what alchemic properties it had, if any. Hawkeye and Hughes, being the only ones who hadn't gone completely crazy when Al turned back to normal, had taken Shampoo and Conditioner into custody fairly peacefully, Hawkeye only having to shoot at them a couple times before Shampoo stopped yelling "Must fight strong one!" and allowed herself to be hauled off.

_Great, just great, _thought Hawkeye gloomily. _With Ed being a girl, Al being normal again and that darn marshmallow, the Colonel's never going to get his paperwork done._

Well, did you like it? Please send me more ideas! Oh, and the giant marshmallow thing? I have NO idea where that came from or what it actually does, or where you would get a marshmallow that big. I think I just went crazy…


End file.
